“You’re So Lost, You Don’t Even Know What Kind Of Eggs You Like!”

There is a scene in the movie Runaway Bride where a reporter (Ike) turns to the main character of the movie (Maggie) and yells, “You’re so lost you don’t even know what kind of eggs you like!” And in this incredibly iconic scene, the look of shock and realization on Maggie (Julia Robert’s) face says it all. She’s spent her entire life simply following around all of the men she’s almost married, somehow believing that in order to be loved she must have all of the same interests.

While this movie dramatized the way that we can easily lose ourselves in our love for others, it’s also a very clear reminder that in order to love others fully, we need to know how to love ourselves.

This all played a significant role in the creation of my journals, especially The Creating Me Journal. Etched into the back of my mind, this movie symbolizes so much of what I’ve faced becoming a mom, devoting my life to my family and our household.

It all happens so slowly. One minute you’re pregnant, wandering around the house eating whatever you want and having your husband dote on you by picking up insanely specific snacks across town while you watch The Princess Diaries in your pajamas. The next thing you know, you have a two and a four year old and have no idea what you want to do or eat for date night. And on those odd days when you have a moment to yourself, you clean and organize because you can’t quite remember what you did on your own time before you had kids.

That’s what The Creating Me Journal became; a lightbulb moment for anyone out there who has fallen into the world that is full time care giver, or recent ex girlfriend. Who was I before all that chaos?

And maybe that’s why the egg scene has stuck with me for so many years, because it’s not really about eggs. It’s about. all of the tiny things that make you you. that slowly become buried beneath the roles you play in other people’s lives.

What do you actually like to eat when no one else’s preferences matter? What music do you turn on when you’re alone in the car? What would you do with an entire Saturday if no one needed anything from you? What clothes make you feel most like yourself? What do you believe that you inherited from someone else without ever stopping to question it? What makes you laugh? What makes you feel beautiful? What are you curious about? What do you want more of?

And most importantly: When was the last time you asked yourself?

I don’t think most of us wake up one morning and suddenly realize we’ve lost ourselves. I think we give ourselves away in tiny pieces.

We choose the restaurant everyone else likes. We watch the show our significant other wants to watch. We spend the afternoon doing laundry instead of the things we’ve been wanting to do. We stop buying something we love because no one else in the house eats it. We put our hobbies away because there isn’t enough time. We answer “I don’t care” so many times that eventually we aren’t entirely sure whether we actually do care.

None of those decisions seem significant on their own, but stack enough of them together and suddenly Ike is standing in your kitchen yelling about eggs, and maybe you don’t know the answer either.

That’s the part of self-discovery I think we sometimes make far too complicated. Knowing yourself doesn’t always begin with uncovering your life’s purpose or identifying some huge dream. Sometimes it begins with something ridiculously small.

You start with, How do I like my eggs? And then you just keep asking.

This journal was the most difficult for me to create, but also the most profound. I wanted it to pack a punch not only because it’s the name sake of the entire system, but because so many of us are facing a reality where we don’t quite know who we are anymore. Not to mention the fact that present day is often overlooked. Here we are journaling about our past, day dreaming and goal setting for our future, and completely taking for granted all that we are today.

The Creating Me Journal is dedicated to all things present day and knowing yourself at your core. It’s the heart; the portion of the series that truly defines all the rest.

Maybe you know exactly how you like your eggs, but you don’t know what you want the next five years to look like. Maybe you can’t remember the last hobby you had that wasn’t somehow connected to your children. Maybe you’ve spent so much time coming a good wife, mom, employee, daughter, friend, or caregiver that you have stopped asking whether the woman underneath all of those titles is still getting a say.

Knowing yourself is not selfish. It doesn’t make you less devoted to the people you love, but allows you to love them without disappearing inside of them.

You’re allowed to have preferences, you’re allowed to change your mind, you’re allowed to want things that no one else in your family wants… you’re allowed to discover that the person you were ten years ago isn’t the person you are today. You are allowed to spend some time figuring out who that person actually is.

Start with the eggs.

See you,
Amy