Why Moms Need To Start Documenting Their Wins

That morning, I realized something terrifying: I had become completely blind to everything I was doing right. My burnout was erasing all of the evidence.

It was 3am on a Monday morning, and I’d just gotten out of bed for the fifth time since falling asleep around 10. I was inconsolable, trying to hush my sobs as my husband slept next to me. My mind was racing between how on earth I would get through the day that followed, and why life over the past year had been so hard on me.

I woke again in a daze to my son crying around 630. He kept saying through his tears, “Mommy, I want to play.” I knew he was tired, but I wasn’t willing to fight, so I turned on the lights and told him he could play if he stayed in his room and was quiet.

“Mommy, I want to read books.”

“You can read books.” I said patiently as I shut his bedroom door.

Then he started wailing. “I WANT TO READ BOOKS WITH YOU! I WANT TO READ BOOKS WITH YOU!”

I opened the door and to my surprise, my voice was calm. “Honey, you’re going to play quietly and mommy is going to get back to bed.”

This turned into ten minutes of screaming, negotiating, and me trying desperately to stay calm. I ended up walking into our bedroom, Cooper in tow and still upset and yelling, “I WANT TO READ BOOKS WITH YOU!”

My husband started arguing with him from bed, and it wasn’t until he got up that I finally threw myself on the bed, sadly so wound up that I wasn’t able to get back to sleep.

One of the hardest parts of motherhood is that so much of the work disappears as soon as it’s done. The dishes return. The diapers refill. The toys scatter again. The emotional labor resets every morning. This means that if we do not intentionally recognize what we ARE doing well, motherhood can start to feel like one long list of failures.

This is one reason I believe documenting your life matters so much. Sometimes you need physical evidence that you are showing up better than your exhaustion allows you to see.

Then I started counting my wins.
Here’s the thing about wins: we are so quick to dismiss all of the things we have accomplished and hyper focus on all of the things we haven’t. Just as we would focus on a singular bad comment on a social media post, amidst the many positive comments we receive. The tough stuff simply packs more of a punch.

Here are a few wins to recognize in yourself as a mom, even when it feels like you aren’t holding your own. (You are.)

You Are Consistent
Maybe you do not have a strict schedule, or you feel short tempered, but maybe you are there when they need you. Maybe no matter how tired you are in the night, your kids have their teething oil, medicine, clean diapers, warm milk, and numerous binkies spread across the crib (which are impossible to find in the dark by the way).

You Are Dedicated.
Maybe the doctors appointments are set and met, even for your dog. Digestive issues, rashes, ear infections are all monitored and handled as quickly as possible. Maybe you are pressing forward with potty training even when it feels like it’s taking forever.

You Are Persistent.
Maybe their nails are all trimmed, even if they fight you on it. Maybe the house stays fairly clean and you continue using a bin system even when it feels inconvenient. Maybe you give them a bath every night, read to them every night, and/or stick with an hour-long bedtime routine simply because you know how much all of it comforts them. Also, somehow, no matter how bad it gets, you keep going.

You Truly Know Your Children.
Maybe you know that your daughter will only eat when the food is cut in tiny pieces. Maybe your son won’t sleep without his favorite three stuffed animals, and your daughter speaks a language that only you can translate. Maybe you know to lotion your daughters arms before bed to prevent a flair up of her eczema. Maybe a stop at a coffee stand can only result in a complimentary green sucker, and the yellow fruit packs from Costco are the only ones your son will consume.

Start documenting the things you ARE doing well. Not for performance, not for social media, but for perspective. Because exhausted women are often carrying far more than they give themselves credit for.

See you!
Amy