How to Build a Care Package That Actually Means Something

In 2010, I moved across the country. I was incredibly lonely, panicked that I wouldn’t land a job, and struggled sleeping for the first month. Being that far away from home is no joke, but I had a dream to pursue and I wasn’t going to let that distance stop me.

I remember that warm November day like it was yesterday, A big box arrived unexpectedly at my door. I was completely caught off guard, and upon opening it discovered a variety of items covered in post-it notes. Every single item had a note on it that specified why it was in there. Candles, chocolates, pens, a journal, little note pads.

A very amazing woman who had recently married my uncle sent me all of these gifts out of the blue and wrote me a letter telling me that my move was so incredibly brave. To this day, I think of that care package every single time I put one together. She gave me so much more fuel than she will ever know, and if I’m being really honest, I’m not quite sure if I ever thanked her for that amazing gift. Not the items in it; but the meaning behind it. Those notes were everything – each item had it’s purpose.

It was then that I learned just what people mean when they say, “It’s the thought that counts.” And that box was littered with thoughts.

And now, every time I build a care package, I don’t just think about what to include. I think about how I want someone to feel when they open it. Because, let’s be real here, so many of us are operating on autopilot. We choose flowers regardless of the occasion. We aim for “cute items” that don’t really mean anything.

But the impact doesn’t come from the item. It comes from the intention behind it.

I’m not aiming to simple be nice, I want what I’m doing to be felt.

1. What is this person going through right now?
If you really want something that resonates with someone, you need to name what it is that they are going through. Are they overwhelmed? Grieving? Starting over? Recovering? Name the season, not just the situation. How is this going to affect the next few weeks? Months? Years? A generic gift says, “I thought of you.” A specific gift says, “I see you.”

2. What would actually comfort or support them?
This is where people mess up most, and a lot of that is because they haven’t been through it themselves. Do a little research, and be sure to pick something that will comfort them in this season. A practical person will love useful items, an emotional person will love a handwritten letter, and a busy mom? Anything that gives her some time back.

3. How can I make each item intentional?
Full circle moment for me here. This is when you start adding those post-its, even if only in your head. What is the intention of each item in your arsenal? How is this meant to comfort or support them right now? For example, you wouldn’t give a friend a coffee card if he or she is bed-ridden, right?

4. What feeling do I want them to walk away with?
Whether you are getting them flowers for that simple thought or you’re building something bigger, consider what you want them to feel in the moment, and even a few weeks down the line. Are they feeling encouraged? Seen? Loved? Strong? Remembered?

And once you know specifically how you want them to feel, you can represent that feeling with each item you gift to them.

5. What will they remember one year from now?
Spoiler alert! It’s not the snacks. They may not remember every item you sent them, but they will most certainly remember how you showed up.

The best care packages aren’t filled with things. They are filled with proof that someone was paying attention.

Some of this may seem overwhelming, so I want to make this very clear. You don’t have to know this person like the back of your hand to make them a meaningful care package. Simply consider what it is they are going through, do a little research if you haven’t gone through it yourself, and question each item and it’s intention as you place it into your basket.

For example, my friend is headed into surgery. She will be mobile right away, but it will be painful. In her care package, I decided she’d want a large water bottle by her bedside. I also decided she’d want a photo of the two of us. (There will also be additional photos in the frame for her to choose from.) I’ve added a few recovery-specific items that are meant for her specific surgery. And my favorite is a pair of lose comfy pajamas to make her feel both comfortable and pretty.

We’ve been friends for a very long time, so there will also be good old fashioned notes (like the ones we used to pass in high school), and a few simple snacks that don’t make her feel like she’s over indulging. I’m normally the bad influence, but I’m turning a new leaf. :)

Bonus! Want to take it to the next level?
Consider these additional little touches that will add an extra touch.

• Write a hand written note per item
• Include one “forever” item (journal, letter, photo, etc.)
• Add one thing that reflects who they are becoming, not just who they are

See you!
Amy