First Time Motherhood | From The Eyes Of An Entrepreneur

It’s true what they say – nothing prepares you for motherhood. How could you possibly be prepared? The babies we are welcoming into this world are human. They are on their own rhythms, they each have specific needs & develop their own sweet little personalities. This is the best part of parenting – watching this all develop. It’s also, in my opinion, the most terrifying part – having zero control.

As a woman in her 30s who’s worked hard to be a great entrepreneur, it took every ounce of me to muddle through the first year of motherhood. No amount of free Safe Start classes, doctors visits or online resources could get me to the point of feeling even the slightest bit confident in what I felt like I was trudging through. No matter what I did – I felt like a bad mom. Every time I turned around, there was a mom who was incredibly successful at breastfeeding, a mom who loved every ounce of being pregnant, a mom who was thriving as a stay at home parent… All I could think about was how much I missed the freedom to work on business projects alone (preferrably without the noise of a breast pump in the background), & this made me feel like the worst person in the entire world.

What kind of mother was I to not only want alone time, but to enjoy every ounce of it when the time came? How could I not love every ounce of pregnancy & motherhood? Did I really need to stop breast feeding before two? Most importantly, why couldn’t I stop comparing myself to others?

It took me over a year to realize that everything was, in fact, going to be ok. I’m a great mom & entrepreneur. And while things are much more difficult now than they were when I had control over just me & my own routine, I’ve found a happiness in motherhood & in mompreneurship that I never new was possible. I’ve created routine, I’ve found consistency & (I don’t say this part to myself often enough) I’ve built the life of my dreams in so many ways – truly. There SO are many things I’ve learned along the way, & I thought I’d share these things with all of you.

  1. You Are Not A Bad Mom.
    Let’s be real here. Everyone has a different definition of what it means to be a good mom. It took me way to long to realize that, just like everything in life, we all create our own routines & rhythms in which to live our lives with (or without) children. While one mom may be beating herself up for putting her child infront of an ipad multiple times each day, they are incredible at getting veggies in at every meal. We are all different, & we must give ourselves grace when it comes to this. Something that helped me the most? I treated this like I have everything else in life… I wrote down what it means to me to be a good mom, & I’ve fought hard to live up to my own expectations & no one elses. Game changer.

  2. It WILL Get Better
    When I had Cooper, I was really frustrated with anyone who said “It doesn’t get better, it gets different.” To me, while things inevitably change, I truly, truly, truly agree with ‘it gets better’. For us, it did simply because I was able to wrap my head around parenting & what it means to me. I was able to move past the anxiety that was thrust apon me as a mom (I had never truly known anxiety until Cooper came along). Ultimately, I was able to build my life on a new foundation & that meant everything to me.

  3. Comparison Is The Killer Of Joy
    We know it’s true. When we compare ourselves to others, it can take so much away from the life we’ve built… but let’s take this to another level. MOMS: Stop comparing yourself to the woman that you were before you had children. You are no longer that woman!!! It took a great friend of mine saying this to me for me to realize just what I had accomplished in becoming a mom.

    Your world is turned upside down — no one really knows this until you’ve gone through it. Your entire life has changed FOREVER. There is no going back. And as rough as this sounds, there is also the realization that you are an incredibly badass mo-fo (for lack of better words). You brought a freaking human being into this world!!! Why do so many people – HELL, WHY DO I – take this so lightly? This is HUGE, & it takes some adjusting. No more comparing yourself to who you used to be, it’s time to create the best version of you in the here & now.

  4. You’ve GOT THIS!
    When I look back on the woman that I was before Cooper – & even just as I was meeting my husband – I see a size 4 woman who was the strongest she’d ever been. I was an empowered badass who did whatever I wanted when I wanted. Yes, I miss her. I think about her often… & then I realize that so much of who I was was based on my size at the time. First off, that’s really silly & pretty superficial. Second, I CAN BE THAT SIZE AGAIN. Quite frankly, I can still have all of the things I’ve ever wanted in life. The only difference is that I will be accomplishing these things with a tiny mini-me. It may be harder to accomplish some things because of the state of my body, but – dare I say it – people have gone through much worse than pushing a baby out. There are people out there who were told they’d never walk agan that freaking WALK!

So here I am entering the third trimester with baby #2 – anxious, excited & (if I’m being real) a little eager to be on the other side of labor already. I write these things for you, or someone you know, but I also write them for me. I don’t want to feel as low as I did with my first, & I certainly don’t want to feel as helpless. Motherhood is downright hard – in so many aspects, & this needs to be said simply because of all of the people out there who are truly going through it & COMPLETELY blindsided by the reality of it all. (Guilty.) Maybe together, along with social media, we can clarify just how difficult it is so that new moms everywhere no longer have to feel alone.