10 Ways to Take Up Space After Losing Yourself
Somewhere along the way, many women stop fully seeing themselves. Motherhood, relationships, expectations, survival mode. Little by little, we stop voicing our needs, trusting our instincts, pursuing our interests, or even noticing when we’re shrinking. Sometimes the scariest part is how normal it becomes.
Lately, I’ve realized that taking up space again starts with awareness. You cannot reconnect with yourself if you never pause long enough to notice where you disappeared in the first place. Here are 10 practical and powerful ways to start taking up space again.
1. Notice When It Happens
When you’re constantly apologizing, downplaying your wins, or minimizing your needs, take notice. Write it down and even say it out loud. Remember, this isn’t just happening in conversations with others, it’s also happening at home, by yourself, maybe with your creativity or your ambition. How are you lessening yourself in your own head? This is one reason journaling and documenting your life can be so powerful. It helps you catch patterns you no longer notice in real time.
2. Make Decisions Without Consulting Others
There is so much personal power that comes with making a decision that’s 100% yours. No more, “What do you think?”. Try, “I’ve decided…” In doing this, you’re not only taking your power back with others, but you’re learning to trust yourself on a deeper level. Start documenting the decisions you make confidently. Evidence builds self-trust.
3. Reclaim ‘You Time’
Pick an hour (or two) each week that is non-negotiable you time. It doesn’t matter how you spend it. The point is the boundary. Personally, this is after my kids go to bed on Tuesdays AND Thursdays, and it’s been a game changer, truly. I will say, though, that it’s been more of a boundary I have to keep with myself than with my husband, who has gladly given me that time. Even one protected hour a week can reconnect you with parts of yourself that have gone quiet.
4. Say No To Someone Without Explanation
The ultimate challenge. The next time you don’t want to do something, say no. Sometimes overexplaining is less about kindness and more about seeking permission to have boundaries.
5. Dress For You & Your Personal Intentions
Personal style can become a form of self-documentation. A reminder that you still exist outside of your responsibilities to everyone else.
6. Create Something Public
A blog post, a video, a journal series, a YouTube playlist – anything that has your name on it. This way, you are taking up space that is visible by definition. Documentation becomes powerful the moment you stop treating your thoughts like they should stay hidden.
7. Move Your Body For You
This isn’t about getting skinny, but feeling powerful in your own skin. Document how movement affects your mood, confidence, energy, and mental clarity instead of only documenting physical change.
8. Name Your Wants Out Loud
What are your personal wants in life? You know, the ones that are just yours? They don’t benefit your family much, and thus you don’t feel like they are justified, but they are there in the background. Have you ever thought about saying those wants out loud to someone or many people? Your desires are not selfish, and they are directional. Your wants matter too.
9. Stop Apologizing
Pay attention to what you apologize for repeatedly. Your unnecessary apologies often reveal the exact places where you no longer feel fully allowed to exist.
10. Use Silence To Your Advantage
I used to think power meant proving myself constantly. Now I think real power is being able to stay grounded without rushing to defend, explain, or perform.
See you,
Amy